Sign UpYou’re finally there. Just a few more steps and a tad more sarcasm and fuckery to get through before you’re finished. Please follow the easier-than-breathing steps below to get registered into JD’s 15th Annual Roundball Ruckus on Yahoo! Sports. Step 1 | Go to http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1 and sign in. You are required to have a Yahoo! Account/ID to participate in the Ruckus. This is not up for debate. If you don’t already have one, sign up for one now. Step 2 | Click on the “Join A Group” link. Do NOT browse the directory, as you have work to do. It’s bad enough you’re contributing to those bullshit reports about how March Madness is costing companies eleventy billion dollars in lost time or lost productivity or whatever the fuck they’re babbling about. For those of you writing those articles or presenting those articles in staff meetings…Shut. The. Fuck. Up. The Ruckus is helping the economy. It’s our own little stimulus package, if you will. And if you won’t? Suck it.
Step 3.1 | Enter the Group ID and password below to join the group “Viva La Ruckus!”, then click “Save and Continue”. Please note there’s a limit to the number of people that can join a group so the sooner you sign up, the better. Group ID: 53781 Password: marisastolemyipod
Step 3.2 | When asked to “Assign A Bracket”, select “Create A New Bracket”. Fill in the appropriate stuff. And the answer to “Allow others in group to see my e-mail” is fuck yes. I need this so I can get in touch with you for t-shirt stuff and shake you down if you’re a deadbeat who doesn’t pay up by the deadline. You also have the choice to win a million bucks or ten grand or some shit…that’s on you. Sign up, don’t sign up, I could give a shit either way. Keep in mind that Yahoo’s big money showdown or whatever they call it has no impact whatsoever on the Ruckus standings. You also need to read and agree to Yahoo’s Tournament Pick’em Terms of Service or else you can’t play. Their rules, not mine. Deal with it. Step 4 | Stop what you’re doing and send me an e-mail immediately at jdxruckus@yahoo.com to tell me a.) who you are, 2.) what your bracket “name” is, and d.) what size t-shirt you want. When I can’t figure out who people are in my bracket I come dangerously close to stroking out. Please, please, please don’t make me come dangerously close to stroking out. I’m not a big fan of that. If you invite other people I don’t know – it is your responsibility to instill the importance of Step 4 in them. Step 5 | We’ve covered this already, but I’m going to drill it into your head once more to be on the safe side. Once you’ve made all of your picks, be sure that you actually SUBMIT them to Yahoo! Sports BEFORE their deadline. Please also remember that once the first game tips off on Thursday, March 19th your brackets freeze and you cannot change them.
Thank you for playing. You’ve been great. Tip your wait staff. Try the veal. And most importantly, beyond the smarmy sarcasm and gutter language you’ve suffered through for the past 23 minutes – the Ruckus is dedicated this year to the memory of my sister, Melissa. She was a rock star and a great person and an A+ aunt and sister and was definitely beyond awesome. Miss you like hell, sis.
Peace. Gin. Love. Gulbis. Wrigley. JD |